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Don’t get me wrong, I read the damn thing every single day, clicking on over in between work jams to check up on what the world is talking about (can we even call it ‘news’ anymore? or was ‘news’ always only what people were talking about?).

So today, they have this article that goes on and on about how antlers in fashion and design are the next big thing. God, this is a stupid article. They get various annoying New York designers and fashionistas to chime in and give their two cents on the symbolic nature of antlery and what it means about society at large. If that weren’t enough piss you off, because who can stand New York art elite telling us what’s hip in the first place? most of the people equate the trend to an off-shoot of the eco-chic groundswell.

Nature — or the appearance of embracing nature — is chic these days. Judging by the direction of fashion and home décor and of-the-moment restaurants and shops, you might mistake Manhattan for Montana.

Are you serious? Isn’t it obvious that dead megafauna hanging from the walls is more anti-eco than anything? And let me tell you, most New Yorkers do NOT know anything about Montana outside of Big Sky. If you’ve spent any time in a ski town like Telluride, for example, where I lived for four years, you’d see that antlers are exactly what megarich ski mansions THINK the West is about. Cutting down massive trees in old-growth forests, then bulldozing a few acres for their 15,000ft trophy homes they only come to for two weeks of the year and hanging a ‘cute‘ antler chandalier. So eco, baby! So rustic, Bob!

Okay, and for the record, the trendy antler thing, well, my best friend Norm started it all on Halloween of 2002 when he wore a 15-pointer on his friggin’ chest to a party. People were FREAKED OUT. They’d be giving him high-fives today cuz he’d be the hippest dude there. But, see, we’re past all that silliness. The only antlers you’ll see near us is on a can of good old workin’ class Schmidt’s Beer (so workingin’ class, they ain’t even got a web site!).

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  • My wife wears a coonskin cap to bed on cold winter nights.

    I was leaving Adam Wallacavage's place a couple years ago wearing my favorite winter hat--a large Soviet-ers faux fur ditty--and on the way out some little hipster snot from New York crows, "That look is ovahhh!" I almost turned around and decked him, if for no other reason than to remind him that 1) This is not New York; your personality flaws are not diluted here and so you will be held accountable, 2) Fur hats existed before Hamish Bowles started showing up at Fashion Week in one, and 3) Your sense of entitlement and false sense of security officially end NOW.

    These New York kids really have to reel in the New York 'tude before they move to Philly. They're going to wreck the place.
  • I'm buying a raccoon tail tomorrow! Cuz I am such a trend setter.
  • hilz
    yeah. i had to stop wearing my deer antler tshirt because it just got so ... played out. *sigh* i'm moving on. alert the Times that the next big thing in the eco-chic fashion movement is raccoon (or beaver!) tails clipped to one's ass pocket. started by: me. when: right now. you're welcome, hipsters.
  • Oh, they're just filling space, M. Personally, I've had antlers in my house for years. I make assemblages out of the ones I encounter in the woods; in fact, I have a deer pelvis in the basement I was planning on hanging in the library tonight. I'll be tinkering with antlers, shells, feathers, etc. long after they've been deemed "over"--as if the idea of something being "over" isn't a passe notion in itself.

    As for it being a fashionable motif, I've seen them all over the place for years now in galleries, boutiques, restaurants, clothes, etc. Every little shop in Williamsburg seems to have a pair on their wall, staionery, or are selling a polyeurethane antler chandelier. If anything, it's peaked; that said, who cares.

    Why people would get freaked out over antlers is beyond me--kind of like being upset at the sight of a seashell--but good on Norm nonetheless.
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