today was also the day of crazy homeless and/or cracked-out people being nice to me. i crossed the street on a red today, because it was a one-way, and i could clearly see that there were no cars coming, for blocks and blocks, and HOLY SHIT! flava flav was totally also doing the same thing, coming toward me. so flava stopped, frantically spread out his arms, looked both ways and he stood in the road and pretended he was stopping traffic for me. pantomime. hugely hammed up.

i gave him that point-the-finger-at-you-cause-i-represent coolness, and nodded with a smirk, and he was all “AH HA HA! you have a nice day!!!”

i was like, you too, buddy.

you think i am making this up, but there is a cracky homeless guy who patrols our neighborhood looking EXACTLY like flav, and he must know it, because not only does he look just like him in the face area and body area, but he appropriates his style of dress by wearing the humongous clock around his neck and generally wearing oversized jackets and stupid sunglasses. (sans the spendy gold grill, of course,) the resemblance is kind of eerie, but then you think, well, how many times have i thought that the ACTUAL flava flav looks just like some crackhead in my neighborhood? and then it all makes sense.

yes. that special street person chose me today, out of thousands. and i was damn glad.

i don’t know what it was about me today, but even the cops who stand at the top of the escalator in the light rail system, checking for people who don’t have transfers, in order to give them $150 fines (because it is ridiculously easy to hop on the trains through the back door and get a free ride – until!), but even they were, “i hope you have a transfer, cause we don’t wanna give you a ticket, little lady. that’s a nice smile you got.”

then the small policeperson complimented my purple plastic seashell belt. the one my brother says looks like a stick-em-up-on-the-wall air freshener, which, in fact, when we were children were indeed called “stick-ups.” i remember the commercial, and it must have affected me deeply. (I just checked with google, and they’re still called that.)